Negotiating is a little like public speaking. People tend to dread the thought of it, and clam up when the time comes to begin. It doesn’t have to be that way, though.
There are many great negotiators and influencers, and we can learn from them. Some, like Donald Trump, have made themselves very wealthy through their ability to negotiate effectively.
With a little care and development, you can become a successful negotiator, wielding influence as though it were a sharp blade. These are my top tips to help you get there.
1. Avoid an Adversarial Attitude
Few things make negotiation as unpleasant as a hostile, adversarial, “us and them” attitude. Aside from the unpleasant environment, it makes both parties defensive, which makes any kind of beneficial agreement unlikely.
Some people feel that by negotiating they are entering a win-lose battle, which is unlikely. Consider that both parties are voluntarily negotiating, which they would not do if they had nothing to gain. The truth is that the best negotiators develop win-win outcomes for all parties. Once you’re able to do that, you’ll be a supremely effective negotiator.
2. Build on Areas of Agreement
Many people focus on areas where the parties disagree. That puts the focus on what won’t work. Instead, build on areas where both parties already agree.
By starting from the common ground, both parties feel as though they are working toward a common goal. It’s also a great way to avoid the adversarial attitude I mentioned earlier.
Once you’ve established the area of agreement, you can begin to see where compromise might be most likely. Starting with agreement helps to put areas of contention in to context. When weighed up against a large area of agreement, many sticking points might seem unimportant.
3. Be Flexible
Never go into negotiations with a single solution or outcome in mind. Always have multiple concepts, and be flexible and creative in how you come to an agreement.
The best negotiators don’t provide one option, they listen to understand the other parties needs and tailor a solution to match. That’s what makes them excellent. Don’t be so set in your requirements that there is no room to move. It eliminates the possibility of a win-win conclusion.
4. Trade Away “Wants”, Not “Needs”
A fact of negotiating is that, at some point, you’ll have to make concessions. The trick is not to trade away the things you need from the deal, only the things you want but can do without.
If you’re looking to purchase a house within 20 minutes of the office, it’s of no use to you to purchase a house 40 minutes away, even at a bargain price. It’s important to really know what you need from the negotiation. That way you have an understanding of what you can concede and still have an acceptable deal. remember that there can be no right price for the wrong item.
5. Control the Negotiation TIMEFRAME
When you negotiate it’s important that you exercise control over the time. This might seem to be of little use, but it’s amazing how many things the timeframe allows you to influence.
Two of the most important things to remember when talking about the timeframe are that you shouldn’t agree immediately, or be indecisive. Either one of those options isn’t conducive to the win-win outcome. Instead, focus on agreement. When both parties come to a natural and legitimate agreement, the outcome is much improved.
Another important factor are deadlines, particularly for large organisations. Often there will be a requirement to have negotiations completed by a particular deadline. If you can exercise patience, you may be able to gain some extra concessions.
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